Blake Shelton Voted People’s Sexiest Man Alive 2017

People Magazine always has their sexiest man alive issue and it’s one of their biggest sellers of the year. I imagine this year it will fly of those supermarket shelves even more as they chose none other than Blake Shelton as the sexiest man alive. Adam is going to be pissed.

Empirically speaking, Blake is a good-looking guy. He’s not a pretty boy like Adam but a handsome dude nonetheless. You can’t be a slouch if you managed to date both Miranda Lambert AND Gwen Stefani. As for how sexy his is, I couldn’t say. I guess maybe it’s the quiet, rugged kind of sexy. Like the Marlboro Man but without the cancer risk. My associate Mel said it best when she said that Blake is like a golden retriever. People love golden retrievers and they want to toss a ball with them. People knows what it’s doing in choosing him. He’s the most popular coach on one of the most watched shows on TV. That’s sure to help sales.

I do feel for Adam, though. He thought he had handsome and sexy on lockdown. This is just another thing Blake has to dangle over Adam’s head. Adam won sexiest man alive a few years ago and he was holding on to it for dear life.