‘American Idol’s David Archuleta Suffered a ‘Faith Crisis’ After Coming Out
In a new interview, American Idol Season 7 runner-up David Archuleta opens up about his “very complicated” relationship with the Mormon church after coming out as a member of the LGBTQ community last year.
David Archuleta Suffered ‘Faith Crisis’ After Coming Out
Archuleta told People that he broke off engagements to three different women before coming out. Last May, he had an anxiety attack while at dinner with his then-fiancée, as he thought about “having to be her partner and being intimate.” He added that he “didn’t want to accept that I was into guys.”
“No matter how hard I tried to marry a girl, it wasn’t right. And if you talk to my exes, they’ll tell you it was rough,” the 31-year-old shared. “I’m sure other people who’ve been in that situation can relate. People who are queer, who’ve tried to get married just to do the ‘right’ thing, it ends up not being a very good thing, and it’s not very healthy for either participant of the relationship.”
Since coming out last June, Archuleta said he suffered a “faith crisis” and even contemplated suicide, explaining that he felt like “God would probably forgive me if I ended my life because it’s better than what I could become, which is if I’m gay or LGBT of any sorts, I’m going to be in big trouble spiritually.”
Archuleta shared that he spent a lot of time praying, and eventually “my understanding of God said, ‘You need to stop asking me this. You’re not supposed to change yourself because this is how you are. You are created to be this way.'”
Archuleta Is Learning to Accept Himself
Archuleta, who identifies as queer, told People that he’s “finally learning what it’s like to actually love myself.” He shared that his 2008 song “Crush” finally made sense to him after he kissed a man for the first time last year. His recent involvement in a production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat was also impactful.
“This was the most gay people I’ve ever been around; I always avoided being around other gay people because I thought if I was around it, it was going to bring it out of me,” the singer said, adding that “it’s great to be around queer people who actually embrace who they are.”
Archuleta shared that his current relationship with the Mormon church is “very complicated,” having tried unsuccessfully to speak with church leaders about their views on the LGTBQ community. He’s decided to “take a break from religion.”
“It hurts me because my religion was everything for me,” he admitted. “But you get to a point where you realize there are some things not right here. I need to just live my life, because I already know I’m okay how I am.”