There’s nothing better than seeing someone roast Simon Cowell on America’s Got Talent or Britain’s Got Talent. And when the person roasting him happens to be a kid, it’s even more entertaining.
Two pint-sized comedians, in particular, have taken aim at Simon — and the rest of the judges. JJ Pantano shared a few zingers on America’s Got Talent: The Champions this year, while Ned Woodman reached the BGT finals with his hilarious act.
JJ Pantano Drags Simon Cowell On ‘AGT’
During the second season of AGT: The Champions, 7-year-old comedian JJ Pantano didn’t hold back in his roast of the judges. He previously received a Golden Buzzer on Australia’s Got Talent, and brought his signature snark to the states.
In his audition, JJ wasn’t afraid to call out Simon Cowell’s changed appearance. “Did you know that backstage there are five hairdressers, three makeup artists, a wardrobe department, and a whole team of nutritionists?” JJ asked the audience. “And that’s just to maintain Simon’s new look.”
JJ was voted through to the semifinals, where he returned with more jokes. He pointed out that Simon Cowell wants to be cryogenically frozen when he dies. “With some of the things you’ve said on the show, I’m not sure you can get any colder,” he said. “Looking at your face now, I think you’ve started the process already.”
Simon took it all in stride, laughing along as the audience gasped. He even stood up with the other judges to give JJ a standing ovation. Unfortunately, JJ didn’t make it to the next round for us to hear even more hilarious one-liners.
Ned Woodman’s SAVAGE ‘BGT’ Comedy Routine
In 2017, 9-year-old Ned Woodman competed on Season 11 of Britain’s Got Talent. His audition roasted all of the judges and even hosts Ant and Dec. Ned said Simon “reminds me a lot of my dad,” adding, “He’s a crossdresser. He gets especially cross when he can’t find his socks.”
“It’s hard being up here. Bright lights shining in my eyes,” he said during his next performance. “And that’s only from Simon’s teeth.” Ned added that Simon looks good for his age, saying, “He’s intelligent, talented, generous, and humble. He told me himself.”
Ned reached the finals of Britain’s Got Talent but didn’t end up winning. Still, we’ll never forget his wonderfully rude jokes at the judges’ expense.